A bit of a change

I have found it hard to blog for quite a while.  Sometimes it was just that I didn't have an idea,while at others it was more to do with the fact that I was not sure that anyone would care what I was putting.  I had pretty much given up over here and was happy to just let the tumble weed blow.

But then......

I got to thinking, which is always dangerous, should I really care what other people think about what I am putting down? I came to the conclusion that really I shouldn't.  

So then I got to more thinking, what would I write about?  Part of the problem before was that I could not think of things that interested me sufficiently to actually motivated to write them down.  It is not like I get to spend a great deal of the day considering world events or items in the news, would I have enough?  I eventually decided that yes I would, if I wrote about the general day to day stuff that I am dealing with - life with my boys.  

There are 100's of Mum blogs out there, and loads of them are great.  I mean really, really great.  You get awesome advise and tips and all that other good stuff and in no way am I looking to emulate them.  I was not ready to turn this area into total mum central so I'm keeping a couple of sections just for my ramblings, and setting up a couple of others for the kid/family stuff. 

As a parent I think it is great to get advise from other people who are struggling/have struggled with some of the stuff you are, and to get ideas, because lord knows it is easy to get stuck in a rut. So here I am, ready to muse and i would love it if you would come along on the adventure with me

Is that behaviour really something we will stand by and watch?

So today I saw a tweet from a friend of ours, who was openly bullied in a well known coffee chain for the way that she looked.  

It was not some subtle bullying, it was upfront and out there in front of all the members of staff and other customers.  These people - and I use the word loosely - decided that they had the right to deliberately move to sit next to a person and snicker and laugh at them, before saying some truly hateful and hurtful things while attempting to poke at them.

The real clincher here is that not a single solitary person stepped up to let these bullies know that this behaviour is not acceptable!, and lets be clear - it is not.  There is never an excuse to treat a person in this manner.  NEVER.  Do people look different - yes.  Can that make you uncomfortable, yes.   Does this give you the right to turn your discomfort around to make an individual feel that they are unwelcome or unworthy? NO

You have no idea what a person is going through/has been through and what they are working on.  It is in no way acceptable to show this kind of behaviour, and it is equally unacceptable for us to stand by and let this happen.  There is a huge focus right now on bullying online, but this focus also needs to be on what happens out there in the big wide world.  If you see someone being bullied then I firmly believe that it is your duty to support the person who is being bullied.  If you don't feel comfortable confronting the bullies then check that the other person is ok, complain to the members of staff if you are in the store, do something!

Tired

It's been a long day, and I am feeling every minute of it, but as with many nights I will probably not be able to sleep. 

i am guessing that it has to do with the fact my brain does not get a good workout every day, and I eat dinner very late mist nights. 

tonight our small person is not very well so it will be a long one. Never the less over the weekend I am going to make some changes to push myself mentally and physically. It's going to mean getting up at an ungodly hour most days - so going to bed earlier will be mandatory. It is also going to mean cleaning out the good cupboards. 

its going to be a long road, but hopefully I will get there

19 months in

So Wee B is now 10 months old and bares no resemblance to that tiny wee thing that we brought home from the hospital (though at the time we did not think that he was tiny)  He is now 24lbs and today started to crawl and walk.  This being the case you would be forgiven for thinking that todays header is a mistake - I did say 10 months.  It is not, we made it through 9 months of pregnancy and 10 months of the baby, so 19 months it is.  

Looking back it is crazy how much we have learnt, about ourselves, about our wee boy and about what utter tosh you are fed when you find out you are expecting - and especially what is in a lot of the books you can get.

For me here are the things we learnt

When Pregnant

- Everyone wil want to have an opinion about what you do - the only people that count are you and the medical professionals that you will see - just smile and nod at other people.

- Maternity clothes are really expensive and, on the whole unattractive.  Just find a couple of things you like and buy a couple of pairs of each thing when you need them

- Bumps are uncomfortable, the bigger you get (and I got big) the more they feel odd - and thats ok, get some pillows to help

- Leg/foot cramp happens a lot. drink your water, have a banana before bed and keep your feet and lower legs warm - it helps

- Don't look on the internet - really don't, you will already be worrying - the internet just makes it worse.

- Stuff - you don't need lots of it.  You need 

• Somewhere for baby to sleep
• Nappies
• Cotton Wool
• Babygrows
• Receiving blankets (plenty of these)
• Muslin Cloths

If you have nothing other than this then you will still survive.  B grew out of almost all his clothes within 1 month.

When you have had the baby

- It is going to be painful accept that and then move about - it helps, a lot

- Hospitals are grim- R had to go home and leave me there when we were induced and he had to leave out with visiting hours

- Don't buy loads of more stuff - other than muslin cloths

- When you go out pack a change of clothes for you and baby.  You feel 100% better if baby is sick on you (and they will be) if you can change.

- Take time to get a bath/shower.  It makes you feel so much better if you can have one every day

- Everyone will want to have an opinion about what you do - the only people that count are you and the medical professionals that you will see - just smile and nod at other people.

A running theme here is stuffWe knew when we were expecting B that we would be relocating, for a while at least, to the US and, although this was stressful at the time I actually think it helped with the stuff part.  Babies outgrown things very quickly, so be prepared and find somewhere you can donate things and don't spend too much

The receiving blankets and muslin cloths- those you want, by the hundreds.  B has reflux, this means that, amongst other things, he throws up, a lot (in terms of volume and frequency). He is getting better and we have new medication that helps with the irritation.  For us we never sat with B or fed him not on a receiving blanket - it saves your clothes, and furniture and sanity if you have less to clean up.  

Even if your baby does not have reflux, get the cloths, your baby will dribble and throw up and plain muslin cloths are relatively cheap, wash well and do the job.

Books - whether they are about sleep, development - or anything else, take them with a pinch of salt.  Go with your gut and just use them as reference points or for ideas.  If you are governed by a book then you will feel miserable when it does not work and it is just not worth 

The biggest lesson we learnt?  Enjoy your time with the small person.  10 months in and the baby is gone and a real little person is emerging and you don't want to miss that 

Feeling Blue

I have just finished the book I was reading - the latest of the Ilona Andrews - Kate Daniels series and I now have a post book blue.

For me this happens a lot, when I get to the end of a story that I am enjoying and there is nothing else to read I often feel ridiculously sad about the fact. It is not that I don't have anything else to read - I do, and it is not that I don't have anything else to take up my time (a 10 month old does that), but never the less I feel a bit down

The book did not end on a sad note, it ended as a lot of Mrs Andrews books do.  You were not left with a  huge cliff hanger - so this is not the cause of my melancholy. For me it sees that when you finish a book that you have really enjoyed (I will try and avoid the phrase, a good book as it is really subjective) I am just sad that the adventure i over.  I can read the book again, but not with the same ignorance of what will happen, and when I do somehow it will be less.....shiny.

Today I will drink my hot coffee (the baby is napping - so I can have an actual hot drink) and sit in the sun for a little while and hope to feel more cheerful soon